When my sweet baby boy Cody passed away in April of 2015, I never thought Sparky's poor little body would every survive the grieving and to be honest, I wasn't quite sure I would survive either. She had gone from the strongest Queen who was tough as nails and took no crap from anyone, "Off with their heads!!!", to this frail, timid and sad sweet girl. She had stopped eating and was starving herself, losing over half of her weight and scaring her mommy to death on a daily and night basis. We had a constant game of chase the Sparky around the house with baby food and try to force feed her every night and medications she fought tooth and nail to avoid taking. She had even begun to be able to walk right through the baby gate without making any sound.
She had become so weak she was no longer able to jump up onto my bead without help. One of my concerns was her developing a fatty liver which there would be no coming back from and I was determined to keep that from happening. I couldn't lose her too and I tried explaining that to her each night.
Finally, it was when I rescued my sweet love, Reagan, and brought her home, when I really started to see some improvement with Sparky. Not because she was happy about her new sister, because she was NOT thrilled that she was a dog at all! But because she was now distracted from her grieving and had to focus on how much she hated her poor new sister. She slowly began eating again and gained a couple of pounds. Still underweight but we were taking it. Reagan, my love, you saved two lives when you joined out families. You were definitely an angel sent from heaven to us. I love you!
For the next two years, Sparky was still very tiny and weak and never really fully recovered. She was never the same. She missed her brother so much, which was heartbreaking because they had really never been apart. Sparky didn't know a life without him and he loved his sister so much that he would pamper her and spoil her and love on her every minute he could. Sparky was missing a very large part of her heart and soul. As was I.
Well about 2 weeks ago I saw a pretty drastic and severe decline in her physically and spiritually. It broke my heart to with her. She was no longer eating and sleeping all the time. She stopped waking me up between 5am and 5:30am every single morning by standing on my chest and screaming till I woke up to feed her. She had stopped greeting me at the door when I got home from work each night and shows no interest to even follow me to the kitchen. On the morning of Friday February 24, 2017 when I woke up and went looking for her, I could see the drive and desire and the spirit was no longer in her eyes. She blankly stared at me and I knew. I knew.
I refused to prolong her pain and discomfort for longer than needed a I know I had done with Reagan and Murray because I selfishly couldn't accept the need to say goodbye yet. I wanted to do better by Sparky and pay attention to the signs. I called her vet and asked that they come to examine her that evening and when they did my fears and suspicions were confirmed.
Luckily, this was the first time I was able to be proactive and plan for this goodbye. In the past, all of my babies have passed very suddenly with very little to no time to prepare and process it first. This time I was able to plan an entire evening and day with Sparky to spoil her and love on her and say goodbye. ad like every single one of my babies who passed before her, she too passed in my arms while I held her tight.
Before her vet came back on Saturday, Sparky had many visitors come to say their goodbyes and give her kisses. Our friend Doreen came by Friday night and brought her some ice cream, since it has always been Sparky's most favorite thing in the whole world and she was able to find the energy to eat about half a spoon full which I know she loved. On Saturday, Auntie Ang came and brought her a beautiful rose. Her and Reagan's BFF/Sitter/Walker came to visit and hold her and love her and her grandma even came by for a minute to say her goodbyes.
Then we had some time alone, just the two of us. It tore me up inside having to say goodbye and I cried a lot, but I knew that this was the right time and I knew that she and her brother would be together again and that somehow made the whole thing much easier to accept. I know Cody has been waiting patiently for her to come play at the rainbow bridge with him and now they can chase those butterflies together.
I love you Sparky! My Feisty Queen! RIP.
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