RIP Cody, My Sweet Baby Boy

My sweet loving baby boy Cody passed away late at night, the evening of April 7, 2015.  It was very sudden and unexpected.  He passed from Feline Cardiomyopthy and passed very quickly and in my arms.  I truely did not beleive I would survive the grief and heart break.  I often still don't think I will. He was just barely 13 years old and full of playful energy just meer hours before his passing.

Sparky (Left) and Cody (Right)

Sparky (Left) and Cody (Right)

Sparky (Left) and Cody (Right)

His sister, Sparky was in terrible mourning as well.  Unable to handle being alone yet not really wanting me around at first either.  I let her come into the room and say goodbye to him so she would understand that he was gone and that he would not being coming back.  As much as she liked to pretend she didn't like him, she very much loved her brother more than anything.  She was so lost without him.  She stopped eating and lost over half of her weight during her time grieving.  It was a stressful time for us both while I tried to force her to eat again so she would not get sick and leave me too.  It took her over a week to come back into the bedroom where Cody died.  She wouldn't come in at night to sleep with me at all.  She wasn't ready to face the room again.

I cried multiple times daily for months after Cody passed.  I was angry he was taken from me so soon.  I wished I could die with him.  I couldn't imagine my life without him with me. I didn't want to. I still miss him so much and I still cry often.  I had him cremated that next morning and his ashes were home with me by that evening.  The cremation company also created a clay imprint of his paw that I carried around with me for weeks.  I found comfort feeling the creases and wrinkles from his paw.  I also received a pendant necklace that has a small amount of his ashes in it.  I know it's silly but I wear it whenever I need to feel his love and support and I can always feel him with me and close to me when I do.

I love and miss my sweet baby boy every day.  Not a single day goes by where I don't think of him and miss him terribly. RIP Cody.  I <3 you to the moon and back!

I'm a slacker! Brief Update

Ok, So I know I am a major slacker right now.  I haven't posed on here in a long time.  Well a lot of good and very bad things have happened in the past year.
New job position, Yay!!
Discovered my relationship was a complete sham.  Turned out to be a complete lie, and was being used as a bank account till the favors and money weren't needed anymore and  then came the bullying and threats.  So of course that was followed by a major depression and more major trust issues.
Next my sweet baby boy cat, Cody, passed away expectantly which absolutely destroyed me!
Then I rescued a sweet and wonderful deaf dog named Reagan who has saved me from some horrible times and I love her to the moon and back.
I've reached my 7 years Sober Birthday.  7 years.  Wow.  Big pat on my back. :)

I plan to make some special posts for these two babies but I figured I needed to jot some thoughts down now.

Sorry for disappearing again.  I can't say it won't happen more because it probably will but I can say I will try not to let it happen for too long.  ;)