Europe 2012

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Channeling My Pain

The past several months have been a whirlwind of emotional ups and downs.  What started off as great, even though I was very skeptical turned out to be crushing.  I had chosen to purposely stay out of the dating world for a very very long time and when I veered from that, I was shown why I should have stuck to my instincts.   Now I have to recover from the heartache that allowing myself to open up to someone caused.  Ugh...  Some days are better than others but I still hate the pain and the hurt that stays lingering around all the time.

Anyway, So this is why I have taken such a hiatus from here and my writing in general.  I am working very hard to get myself back to normal but I can't promise how fast it will be. I have been trying so hard to be strong in public and around my friends but when I'm alone I tend to fall apart. I haven't wanted any of my friends to know anything has been wrong or that that I'm possibly not as strong as I let them all believe I am.  Without using my writing or my singing as an outlet, I haven't given myself much of a chance to heal.  So I am getting back to the pen and paper and hoping for the best. I have several short stories I need to complete now and stop sitting on them, not to mention I need to work on this series some more.  They aren't going to submit themselves and I'm getting tired of dodging my publishers calls,  so it is time to channel my emotions and pain to work for me.

My Journey To Find The Skinny Me!

So I have a secret....  For almost a year now I have been on Weight Watchers.  I have lost 50 lbs since the beginning of 2012.  I am extremely proud of myself although I have to say.  I don't  really see the difference in myself as much as everyone else does.  I still think of myself as the old me so it's awkward to get all of the compliments and be able to fit in smaller clothes.  But I am happy none the less.  :)  

Well as a reward to myself I have decided to finally go through with what I have been working so hard for and what I have wanted for a very very long time.  I am going to schedule a Tummy Tuck!  Yes.  Finally gonna do it.  Since, although, I have lost 50 lbs this past year.  I will be honest and tell you that since I quit drinking in 2008, I have actually lost a total of 70 lbs.  So that leaves a lot of not so attractive skin.  I am excited to finally feel good about myself for the first time in.... Oh I don't know how long... LOL

Check out my Weight Loss Adventure Blog!  My Journey To Find The Skinny Me